GrandfatherTrout ([info]gtrout) wrote,
@ 2004-09-29 09:06:00
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YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE.

Dear unknown ‘lite jazz’ musician who was playing in the background at the dentist’s this morning:

I don’t care who you are. I don’t care that you gave it a vaguely funky percussion line.

You have recorded “Take Five” in 4/4 time. The penalty is death. Please report to the nearest Chamber of Release immediately.


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[info]selastra
2004-09-29 06:53 am UTC (link)
You've got to be kidding me. Can I please throw the switch?

~TRS

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[info]geobabe1
2004-09-29 07:56 am UTC (link)
Oh my lord. The end times are coming.

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Oh, Dear.
(Anonymous)
2004-09-30 06:50 am UTC (link)
That is awful. Reminds me of the time I was in Nordstroms, bad enough I know, and the piped-in soundtrack included a Muzak version of Janet's "Again." Because that song needed to be made *even more* lifeless, and it especially needed that six chord inverted. On an oboe. Played badly.

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[info]eac
2004-09-30 07:37 am UTC (link)
Arrrgh!

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[info]xopher_vh
2004-09-30 03:48 pm UTC (link)
I too will twist the rope. Mix the poison. Load the rifles.

If the chair is selected, I say he gets a dry sponge.

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(Anonymous)
2004-10-01 07:53 am UTC (link)
Didn't U2 do the same thing a few years ago with the Mission: Impossible theme (which was also written in 5/4)?

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[info]dr_memory
2004-10-01 11:37 am UTC (link)
I think that one was Danny Elfman's fault.

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[info]gtrout
2004-10-02 08:19 pm UTC (link)
That doesn't make it right.

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What would you do?
(Anonymous)
2004-10-02 12:46 am UTC (link)
Q: You are in a locked room with Osama bin Laden, Sadam Hussein and Kenny Gee. You have a pistol but it only has two bullets in it. Who would you shoot?

A: You don't want to waste any ammunition; shoot Kenny Gee twice.

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Re: What would you do?
[info]gtrout
2004-10-02 08:20 pm UTC (link)
I think if I found myself locked in a room with Kenny G., I would automatically shoot myself.

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[info]roadnotes
2004-10-02 06:03 am UTC (link)
Y'know, I heard that myself recently, and was sure that there was something wrong. I sat there, counting beats,until I was positive it was 4/4.

Can we tar and feather them first? I'll help.

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[info]gtrout
2004-10-02 08:24 pm UTC (link)
I had to do the same thing. The first clue that something is...wrong...is that there are weird little bits of the main statement that repeat all of the sudden. And I'm sitting there with the dentist carving his initials in my gums, thinking: "What are they doing to Take Five?" And then finally I figured it out and I nearly bit Dr. Wasserman's fingers off.

Sorry, Doc.

Anyway, once we run this guy to ground, I'll call you so you can get the fires lit.

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Take Five Impossible Missions
(Anonymous)
2004-10-06 12:36 pm UTC (link)
When I saw the first Impossible Mission movie, the first thing I noticed was that they had switched the time signature of the theme song from 5/4 to 4/4. I was incensed. Until I watched the movie and realized that the new theme song was a perfect metaphor for the bland prepackaged film I had just watched. It had deftly smoothed over anything interesting or unique about the series. Then I stopped at the stripmall Starbucks on the way home and had a latte.

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